


affection (between friends)

by Cancelpocalypse



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29300796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cancelpocalypse/pseuds/Cancelpocalypse
Summary: a little songfic drabble about jjbek training angst
Relationships: Otabek Altin/Jean-Jacques Leroy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	affection (between friends)

_ You're saying what you want right to me _

“Are you serious about her?” Otabek gets the courage to ask JJ, one evening when JJ’s taking too many breaks from essay writing to text her back.

“What, Bella?” JJ asks, looking up at Otabek, who’s sitting on the loveseat, ASUS in lap.

“Yes,” Otabek says.

“Oh yeah, we’ll probably get married,” JJ says nonchalantly, returning to his essay.

Otabek, on the other hand, stops typing. He can’t bring his mind back to the task at hand.  _ Do you really want to?  _ is what he wants to ask. But there’s one answer he doesn’t want to hear, so he won’t risk it.

Not like it’s intentional, but he feels sour and stays quiet for the rest of the evening.

* * *

_ No filter on your mouth, we know you talk in your sleep _

Sharing JJ’s bedroom, Otabek quickly learns JJ is not a peaceful sleeper. He’ll mumble and flop around enough to bother Otabek even though he’s on the other side of the room.

This goes for about a week, Otabek musing on a request to share a different room. (But the options aren’t much better, and the Leroy’s house is already crowded.) One night Otabek’s made it to sleep but finds himself blinking awake at something like 2:00 am. He realizes what has woken him is JJ having more of a fitful sleep than usual.

At first Otabek thinks he might be crying in his sleep, but that’s not quite the sound. He can’t help feeling a bit concerned, so he swivels out of his bed and treads the few steps over to JJ’s.

He’s tangled in his sheets, seeming to be having trouble breathing. Alarmed, Otabek shakes him awake by the shoulder. JJ bolts awake, gasping. Otabek fumbles for his bedside lamp and slaps the switch; JJ’s wide eyes catch the warm light. He doesn’t know what to say, but Otabek keeps a steadying hand on JJ as his pupils shrink and he catches his breath.

“Just a dream,” JJ pants, but looks shaken nonetheless.

“You usually don’t sleep well,” Otabek comments. JJ’s skin is warm under Otabek’s palm – he’s only wearing a tank top. It might be getting awkward so Otabek takes his hand away.

“I sleep good enough,” JJ says, but he still grabs Otabek’s hand before he can fully retract it. The Canadian looks down as if he’s done it without knowing, quickly releases his grip and goes pink. Blush reaches from cheeks to chest.

“Clearly,” Otabek says, but he doesn’t want to discourage JJ. He sits on the edge of the bed. JJ looks at him as if surprised, but scooches up to make room. “What was your dream about?”

Guess Otabek knows what  _ he’s  _ dreaming about now.

* * *

_ Remembering the times they won't remember me _

JJ is very kind to invite Otabek out to social functions. He gets invited to everything the family goes to for the most part, but JJ often specifically asks Otabek. Sometimes bugs him until he caves, too. But most of the time, it’s with Bella; she’s there with JJ and his friends and her friends.

JJ’s a good host, Otabek will give him that. He includes Otabek to a comfortable extent, introduces him to people. At times, though, Otabek will look at Bella looking at JJ, and everyone around them and himself, and wonder if he even has a chance at being remembered. Remembered the way he wants to be remembered. Not as just the equivalent of an exchange student. No, no, he is more.

When JJ and him are alone, he’s certain of this. But a large crowd, and a crowd including JJ’s girlfriend, melts away that confidence like snow in the sun.

* * *

_ Our nights melt into sequels, you sink into me _

Once it first happens, it keeps happening.

JJ’s mouth yields to his, even though there’s surprise in his blue eyes. The first time. Honestly, Otabek didn’t think this would be first – but he’s not complaining. It scares him a little because he doesn’t think he’s been this emotionally involved, if you will, before. Ever before. Of course, if he asks himself if he has feelings for JJ, he can quickly answer  _ no, nothing more than a passing acknowledgement.  _ But once they kiss? Then he can’t even form a coherent sentence.

JJ’s sleeping better these days. Might be attributable to the bed they share behind closed doors.

* * *

_ Boy, I'm looking for affection in all the wrong places _

People have always seen Otabek as somewhat of a loner, so he’s naturally fallen into that role. But you can be sure no man’s an island. As he’s matured, Otabek’s realized he’s looking for someone outside of himself. Even if he’s not one for big parties or hundreds of Facebook friends, he’d like to not be alone. He’s normal like that, and that’s a good thing.

But if Otabek’s looking for someone, is that one JJ? Why did Otabek pick a straight-laced Catholic kid, of all kinds of people? Kind of hard to tell who’s doing the picking and choosing, though. Might be best to place the blame for that on fate. And if fate is wrong, he’s still got no say in how he moves towards JJ, how he’s pulled in.

* * *

_ And we'll keep falling on each other to fill the empty spaces _

Home is half the globe away, and Otabek would be lying to say he doesn’t feel homesick. Misses his mom’s cooking, and the video chats just don’t make up for face-to-face with his family. His sister has an important recital next week and he’s going to miss it. All these things leave him hungrier for comfort as the weeks go on, even as he works hard on the rink and in the gym, applies himself to online school. Maybe this is why he’s opening up to JJ. Would he feel the same about JJ if he were back at home? He’s not sure.

Whatever the case, whatever JJ has that Otabek’s missing, he needs it. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> lol HI I made an ao3 account again c:


End file.
